How to turn an anti-cruiser into an avid one

After 40 years of rejecting cruises, Chris Stead finally sets sail and discovers what he’s been missing. Photo / Old Mate Media
For 40 years, Chris Stead turned his nose up at cruising, but now he’s making up for lost time.
Why would you want to be stuck on a boat? That question would bounce between my ears whenever my wife mentioned a cruise. After all, I’d spent decades travelling the world on foot. Jumping off the plane or pulling into the station, then following my nose in pursuit of cultural discovery and natural wonders. Always seeking something new and free to go where I please.
In my mind, a cruise couldn’t provide “real” travel. How could it? You’re effectively be stuck in your hotel; rocking side-to-side. I was convinced that within a few hours I would have seen everything there was to see and be desperate to get back to travelling.
How wrong I was.
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The day I found myself walking up a gangway onto Odyssey of the Seas, a Royal Caribbean ship docked in Rome and about to set off for nine days around the Mediterranean Sea, came quite unexpectedly. I was as green as they come, watching all the professional cruisers gleefully wave goodbye to terra firma, bathed in scepticism.
Yet I’ll never forget that first moment onboard. Little can prepare you for the enormity of these cruise ships and its scale blew me away. Rising 16 levels towards the clouds, I stepped into the belly of the beast, greeted by a massive double height boulevard filled with restaurants, shops, bars and activities. People swarmed like excited bees, smiles as wide as a gondola. The sense of excitement was tangible; the energy akin to a night market or a bazaar.
Bizarre indeed! I followed the masses upwards, my nose leading me to the main food hall where station after station of exotic foods were spread out as far the eye could see. And free. Already people were feasting, drinking and talking.
Then I stepped out onto the top deck and squinted into the distance, over 300m from bow to stern. Three football fields. In between, a theme park of waterworks, sport courts, pools, spas, arcades, rock climbing and even surfing. Everywhere you look; fun, food and frivolity.
In the days that followed, more than once I sat awestruck, unable to truly accept that this thing – this city – was floating at sea. I’d always expected it to feel limiting and claustrophobic, but even after nine days, I still hadn’t taken it all in. Experienced every space, show, meal, cocktail and activity. There is always something new to do and always someone new to do it with. Better yet, the kids are always entertained.
But that still isn’t “travelling.” That much I had right, didn’t I?
While the ship experience is a huge part of a cruise adventure, the destination is also key. What ports will it visit? As a man of exploration, on paper my cruise offered a dream itinerary. Italy, Greece and Turkey, with stops like Rome, Pompei, Ephesus, Santorini, Rhodes, Mykonos and Crete. But how much would I actually see?
Arriving in Naples that first day, I followed my usual prep. Daypack with water, sunscreen, camera and towel. Good boots. A full belly. I walked off the ship into the dilapidated docks, Mt Vesuvius watching my every move. Then I was off on a bus with a dozen other cruisers, wondering if it would be worth it.
We drove along the mind-blowing Amalfi Coast, with lengthy stops to explore stunning towns like Positano and Salerno. We spent hours in the ruins of Pompeii, guided by an archaeologist. We stopped at a pottery factory, where the owner showed us how his ancestors worked the wheel. Exhilarated, exhausted and empowered, we then returned to our floating palace for a night full of food, shows, drinks, trivia and conversation.
It was awesome. But the true value of cruising was still to come.
The next day, I woke up, peeled back the curtain and took in the hills of a new country: Greece. No logistics. No scramble to an airport. No passport checks or customs or taxi. Not even a search for an ATM so I could have breakfast. Just a gangway and a gateway to another day of pure travel.
So, now I cruise.
For the first 40 years of my life I was an anti-cruiser, convinced it wasn’t for me. Now I’m about to do my fifth cruise in three years. It’s only gotten better too, now that I’ve apologised to my wife and shared the experience with her and the kids. Cruising is great for everyone.
Indeed, I’m now an avid cruiser. I still love to travel and explore on foot, but cruising offers a unique, value for money take on travel the strengths of which I can’t deny. Fun in and of itself, it also takes away the logistical stress of travel, leaving you solely with the destination to enjoy. Perhaps now you’re inspired to do the same?